Not a single day without complete reliance

I have been mulling over my friend Mary's blog (Pray Without Ceasing) since the subject was fresh on my mind even when she wrote it. I was discussing this with close friends several months ago. The five years Michael and I prayed, cried and sought the Lord for a child were as wonderful as they were difficult. It was a time of spiritual growth like no other in my life. It was a time that I realized my complete reliance on the Lord. This was a circumstance that I could have absolutely no control over. When we discovered we were pregnant last year, along with my overwhelming joy, I felt a bit of a valley experience too. Had I not been living on a mountaintop in my relationship with the Lord over the past 5 years? A place where I had to completely rely on Him from day to day for emotional strength? I was so aware of His faithfulness--and His promise to me of a child one day. When that promise was fulfilled, I struggled to recapture the same feeling of complete dependence on Him. I wanted to know what He was going to do in my life next. My wise friends encouraged me to see the time of my smooth pregnancy as God's gift of rest...

Well, God knows that once again I need a constant reminder of my complete reliance on Him. Ever since little MD was born, there has been one source of stress/uncontrollable circumstance after another. The first week was a struggle to get the nursing down. Then, came the uncontrollable crying of my baby. Next, Hurricane Ike and loss of power for 2+ weeks. Should it be any wonder then that I am now struggling again with MD's feedings? God has brought me to my knees before Him many multiple times a day. Right where I should be. Pray without ceasing--can I do any less? I may not have longed for the stressful circumstances of the past weeks, but I am thankful to be jostled out of any complacency and brought back to that intimate relationship I embrace when times are tough.