the second week

I want to still sing the praises of God who is getting me through day to day...and some rather rough days at that.

Elizabeth is 2 weeks old today and while nighttime sleeping is getting a tiny bit better (meaning she will sleep in between feedings now), the number of feedings at night and her lack of cheerfulness during the day are still a difficult spot. After months of praying for a cheerful, content baby, God must have a better plan. Perhaps it is because He knows that without her fussing, I am so laid back I might forget to feed her. Quite assuredly, it is because (as my mom so often reminds me), He is making me "the pearl of great price" (my name means pearl) by all the minor irritations in life. At any rate, E still wants to eat every 2-3 hours (even at night) and often fusses between daytime feedings. Perhaps because she is so alert for someone her age? This is why almost all pictures of her capture a rather grouchy looking face.

She is spitting up less frequently (we nixed the idea of giving her the acid reflux meds). She still hates her diaper changes (probably more than anything else). When I weighed her yesterday I believe she is up to 8 lbs something (WOW!). We shall see officially on Thursday.

David has been very sweet on the whole and such a big helper! He plays well independently often. He has gotten quite the pro at sticking Baby E's pacifier back in her mouth. And when she was screaming the other day in the car, he just sat there and held her hand. Speaking of that, I have taken both children out with me a couple of times to run errands. Depending on their moods, it can be calm and quite easy or challenging in the extreme!

Can't wait to see what this next week holds!

One Week Later

Psalm 92: 1-2, 4 "It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, and Your faithfulness every night...for You, Lord, have made me glad through Your work; I will triumph in the works of Your hands."

God graciously has given me all sorts of things to rejoice over this week--including a culmination of many of them this morning!

Just one week ago and a few hours earlier we were meeting our little girl for the first time. Amazing that it was only one week ago!!! It all started pretty calmly (after the not-so-calm delivery). It was just the three of us in the hospital and at one point when they took E for test for several hours, I turned to Michael and joked that it was like being on vacation with him in a hotel room with room service and no kids.

Coming home on Wednesday was still not too bad since it was so nice to see D again and be in my own bed. Baby E slept 3-4 hours straight that night (still nurses incredibly well), and I had to even wake her to eat once or twice.

Thursday, was more difficult. We stayed at home all day. My mom helped extensively with D. E slept well all morning but by afternoon/evening time was incredibly fussy and nothing would calm her down. That night She was up every 2-3 hours to nurse and still quite fussy in between. The cats were clawing at the door all night and woke the baby once. I slept very poorly and was in tears by morning.

Friday is when I had a choice to make. I could sit and complain (unfortunately my first response) or I could sit and praise God for the blessings and new place in my life. After doing the former and crying to my mom, she reminded me of a principal that God had been teaching me in the weeks previous to E's birth anyway- Praise God and Thank Him FIRST! We did, and I was reminded that just as He had the perfect timing for bringing E to this world, He also has the perfect timing for placing our cats in a new home (anyone want two loving, adult cats?). He also had/will give me strength and I could manage this new job description. I took E to the Dr. that am for weight check and overall health check. She weighed 6 lbs. 10 oz. (down from 7 lb 2 oz at birth and 6 lb 12 oz at release from hospital the previous day). The doctor was concerned (I was not at all--milk had only come in early hours Friday am) and she was concerned about E being jaundiced. They did a bilirubin test and it did come back high. I was told to feed every 2-3 hours. Yeah, right... Friday morning was slightly better. We went to CVS on the way home--I guess the first official in/out outing. And certainly the first "real" outing for lunch at McDonald's where D ate and played on the indoor playground. E slept, but by afternoon, E was just as fussy as the previous day and into the evening. I attempted to calm her and was only successful in nursing. She seemed hungry ALL the time! (so every 1-2 hours I was feeding her!) I knew she was getting plenty at each feeding and rebelled against getting up every hour at night to feed her, but what choice did I have?

Saturday started with a very tired Margaret and another fussy baby. (this time even in the am) I was working to thank the Lord though for his blessing in my mom (meals and entertainment for D) and M being home (entertainment for D and emotional support). And sis-in-law Shayna who helped out with D a lot too. E slept a tiny bit better that night- maybe only eating every 2 hours.

Sunday, I decided to go to church with fam because it would be far more distracting that letting E cry it out at home. Sorry, perhaps not pure motives that morning. Church was good (much to think on), and I am glad I went. Baby E went to church for the first time at 5 days old! :) (we do want to instill consistent church attendence in our children--not for the sake of it, but for the sake of discipline for Christ that flows over into so many other areas, for the sake of being dependable for others, for the sake of the lessons God teaches in and through the body of Christ on Sunday am) That afternoon was definitely a bit better as E slept a bit. The night held lots of feedings but at least she was sleeping better between feedings. I went to bed with a bit more pain than I had known the previous days...so much for healing myself.

Yesterday was smooth. We started the am with a visit to the doctor. E's bilirubin was significantly lower (jaundice gone). Her weight was significantly higher. In fact, the nurse thought there was a mistake since Elizabeth had gained almost a pound since the four days previous on Friday! She now weighs 7 lbs. 7 oz. With that came hope too for me that she might start sleeping better between feedings and going a bit longer. My mom and I took a walk to Collins Park with both kiddos and let D play. Gorgeous weather. I felt pretty emotional and few minutes of tears when my mom left at 2:30. So nice to have her around! D did nap (a rarity) and E did too (a novelty). I woke her up to eat (it was about 3 1/2-4 hours and wanted her to sleep at night). I fed her and then tried to keep her calm while going to get D from his room and long nap. I came in to find a drenched bed (including into the pillow, comforter, all sheets) a drenched boy, and diaper hanging off of him as it had torn. With one hand I tried to strip sheets, get D a bath, and start some laundry--he needed the pillow and comforter for bedtime in a few hours. With the other hand, I was trying to take care of E. Life as it will be for a while... All the same, we managed well. I don't know where Sunday's pain went (God's grace!), but I felt good all day and the pain was just dull and aching not sharp despite not taking the ibuprofen for several hours.

And so this morning, I have so much to be thankful for!!! I am still without pain (for the most part). I have lost more weight again this morning (thanks for all the 1-2 hour feedings). D has been cheerful for many days and is so helpful and loves his sister. And I got a wonderful night's sleep last night! Elizabeth only woke up every 3 hours and went back to sleep between all feedings!!! Yeah!!! She is still snoozing this am. (thanks to the 1-2 hour feedings and all the weight gain too) I want to praise God in the midst of adversity, but once again, He has brought me out to a place of more calm (perhaps only temporary) and I want to praise Him for that too! Joy comes in the morning...

So, hopefully when my attitude of complaining comes up, I can turn it into praise for the many blessings God has given me.

Some things I have learned about Elizabeth in the past week:

• Like D, she likes to sleep on her tummy, but she is even more definitive in this like...it is the only way she happily sleeps. Sorry, doctors.
• She is very relaxed when well fed etc...Probably far more relaxed than the average baby and certainly than David at the same age.
• She nurses extremely well--from the very first time an hour after birth in the hospital.
• She is a spitter-upper. She eats very efficiently for 2-3 minutes and then if not careful will choke and spit up a bunch of what she just ate. I try to slow her down a bit...often works.
• She constantly has hiccups.
• She does not really like the pacifier. If really upset she might eventually take it and find a bit of comfort in it (keeps it in her mouth far better than most newborns), but rejects it on the whole.
• She looks fantastic in pink! (especially the raspberry pink shades)
• She dislikes diaper changes but likes singing.
• She is incredibly strong--already flipping herself from side to back, scooting across the floor, and holding her own head up very well.

Life will never be the same with our new little one. Can't wait to see more of her personality shine.

First Outings

We celebrated Elizabeth's four day birthday by going out to lunch at McDonalds with Gram. David played and E slept sweetly the whole time.

The next day, we went for a long walk to the corner store and then to Collins Park for D to play again...this time on the huge, three story play structure. He had quite the time while E slept in her stroller with her feet firmly planted on the ground (ok, not exactly, but you get the idea).

in His perfect timing...

Where do I begin? The story starts Monday at 8:00 am when I went to my dr. appt. to see how far along I was and what this week would hold. With my mom leaving in a week, we had all pretty much agreed that it was a good idea to induce later this week if baby girl had not come on her own. The doctor had suggested as much last week and the week before too. The appointment Monday did not go as planned, however. After checking me...still no progress at 1 cm dilated, barely effaced, he unexpectedly told me that he would induce but there was probably only about a 50/50 chance that I would be able to have the baby without c-section at the end of the day. (and he really recommended checking me again on Friday and waiting to do something until next week) This is the exact scenario we were in with David...and I walked away crying because I was so torn up about what to do. I felt that I should wait, but that meant no mom to help. What to do? We prayed about it and I was set to cancel my Thursday induction and ride it out, no matter whether my mom was there or not.

I was hoping the barometric pressure change might put me in labor (lots of sudden thunderstorms). Nope. Then my mom and I took a nice long walk. Lots of pressure, but nope. Then we even went out to eat spicy Mexican food for dinner. No obvious signs of labor.

I fell asleep on the couch around 9:30 feeling a bit of pressure in my pelvic area, but nothing extraordinary. Around 11:30 I woke up and went to the bedroom to sleep. I was still feeling a bit uncomfortable (but thought maybe the baby had dropped some more). I fell asleep fitfully and tossed and turned to get comfortable for the next several hours. (nothing too unusual these days) However, the pelvic pressure was getting pretty strong and I suddenly thought perhaps that it might be coming and going (I had assumed that it was constant, while sleeping between). I decided to check and see. Sure enough, it was rhythmical with about 20-30 seconds of pressure every 10 minutes or so. This was not at all what I remembered with my contractions last time, but I thought maybe I should look it up online to see. So at 1:30, I got out of bed and checked it out online. The consensus seemed to be that this pressure could definitely be signs of early labor. Well, fair enough. But since it was still early at night at Michael had a long day ahead of him at work the next day (assuming I did not have a baby) and I still was not sure entirely that this was true labor, I stayed up working on the computer for a bit and timed the contractions. During the 1 1/2 hours I sat there, my contractions started coming 4, 5, or 6 minutes apart. I knew this was definitely time to go to the hospital, but they still were not very strong in intensity. (and no water had broken...unlike with David when it gushed). Early labor still, right? Plus, I did not want to get to the hospital and be sent home--especially for M's sake. I woke up my mom around 3:00 and asked her what I should do. She told me I needed to get going. I woke up Michael around 3:30. We left the house at 3:50 am.

While in the car, the contractions were now 3 minutes apart. About 4:00 pm, I realized that they had suddenly intensified from just the front pelvic area to my back as well...like the contractions with David. I said, "Don't get scared, Michael, but I think we need to get to the hospital." We arrived around 4:10. After getting rerouted to the emergency room entrance, we then were required to register (despite preregistering online). I was a little peeved about this as contractions were getting stronger and very regular at 2-3 minutes apart. Once upstairs in a triage room (4:38 am) the nurse checked me. I was now 4 cm dilated at 70% effaced. Not surprising. She said she had to wait 1 hour to recheck me and make sure I was in active labor and progressing before even checking me into a room (rather insensitively telling me--among strong contractions--that I might be sent home again in an hour). When I asked about an epidural, she assured me it would not be a problem and that I would have plenty of time to get one. At 4:50 I started feeling really nauseous, contractions were often 1-2 minutes apart. By 5:10 am contractions were really strong (almost unbearable) and I told Michael I wanted to see the nurse NOW! He suggested sticking it out another 10-15 minutes but went and got her on my insistence. When she arrived, I was in as much pain as I had been able to bear minutes before getting an epidural with David. I was having a very hard time breathing correctly and felt like I was going to pass out from the pain. She checked me at 5:20ish and said that I was at 5 cm and 90% effaced. I think she was a bit surprised, but they started wheeling me down the hall to my labor room. I vaguely remember that part although the next little bit was a blur.

It was the moments once in the room that they felt they needed to do more paperwork and ivs that almost sent me over the edge. They reassured me they had to do it as quickly as possible to get me the epidural that I had been wanting for the last 30 minutes. But the next thing I knew, I was feeling a lot of pressure and the need to push. I heard them all scurrying around and phoning the doctor frantically as they realized that I am now 10 cm and ready to push (just 15 minutes after being 5 cm in triage). They gave me oxygen which helped immensely in my ability to focus on the task at hand and less the pain. My water broke at about 6:00 am and when the doctor arrived right afterward, I pushed 2-3 times and felt the greatest release from all pressure, contractions, etc...in that one instant! Baby Elizabeth Holland Weyler had been born!

Unfortunately with no epidural nor pain meds, the next 45 minutes of a rather matter-of-fact doctor (Dr. Carol Collins, the ob-on-call, delivered Baby E) trying to stitch up the mess of the level 2 tear was very unpleasant, but...we were done!

I felt amazingly alert, in a lot of pain, but such freedom from the excruciating pain of just a few minutes previous. It was hard to take in the fact that Elizabeth was born at 6:09 (the clock I saw read 6:08) not quite 2 hours after arriving at the hospital. What a blessing that she had not come the week previous when Michael was a 3-4 hour drive away! What a blessing that she had come on her own with no induction! What a blessing that she chose to come early enough for my mom to still be here for several days! In God's perfect timing, our little girl was born. (7 lbs 1.6 oz. and 20" long--what a blessing she was a whole pound smaller than D!) "You called in trouble, and I delivered you" Psalm 81:7 (what an appropriate verse for my daily Bible reading...I did plenty of calling out to Him!)

Would I ever do things naturally again? Probably not (if we even have more kiddos), but the worst moments were by far the time around 5-6 cm dilation that I was in triage and being moved to a room. Pushing at least had a purpose.

Another answer to prayer--at least in the first 24 hours--I had prayed for a calm, cheerful, content baby who slept well and nursed well. Unlike D, she immediately nursed and did a fantastic job! She also slept most of the day quite contentedly. There was about 1-2 hours last evening that she was dreadfully fussy, but back to sleeping again nicely later on. And thanks to God for such a sweet husband who was beside me every step of the way...even down to staying overnight on the incredibly uncomfortable couch/bed.

There are definitely things that are great about St. Luke's vs. Memorial Hermann...just as there are negatives. The amenities are more sparse and the rules far more old-fashioned. The paperwork while in labor is ridiculous. However, the nurses have been fantastic!!! Charlene my nurse in labor and delivery for most of the morning was wonderful and so helpful! Upstairs in recovery, the day nurse Tangela was extremely sensitive and all the nurses are more hands-off and careful to let me sleep as necessary (which is very necessary!). They couldn't have been more sweet, sensitive, and helpful (with a few exceptions). (PS the meals were pretty good too)

I was overwhelmed at the thought of checking out of the hospital today (upon doctor's suggestion yesterday morning). I was so exhausted etc...but as the new day dawned this morning, I feel both refreshed and capable to take on this new role. Thank you, Lord, for your strength! The hours of nausea from taking two pain meds on an empty stomache yesterday are gone. The pain from labor is significantly abated (far less than with D--as of now). I am able to get up am move around well and feed Baby E well. I am sure this is by God's grace! Thanks be to Him!

So home again today with the latest of the Weyler family, Elizabeth Holland.